Recent Discussion
Active threads, ordered by their latest comment.
On Sunday night, after the lights were off, my girlfriend Nora asked whether I would still love her if she were a worm. I asked which worm. She said a normal one, and that the point was to say yes without thinking. I told her I could do that, but then it wouldn’t be an answer, so I thought about it and gave her my actual position: “No. I love human women, and Caenorhabditis elegans is a self-fertilizing hermaphrodite with 302 neurons.” She has been staying at her sister’s in Medford since Tuesday. She said I could explain it to anyone but her, so I’m explaining it here.
View discussion (18)Peter Singer's drowning child has probably moved more money than any other paragraph in philosophy. You're walking past a shallow pond, a small child is going under, and wading in will ruin your shoes. Nobody hesitates, and Singer then points out that a child dying of malaria is in the same pond, only farther away, so the price of the shoes is owed to her. Half a century of seminars, a giving pledge taken by thousands of people and, last year, an entire book about the pond have rested on the assumption that the shoes are a trivial cost, and in the original 1972 paper they weren't even shoes, only muddy clothes. As far as I can find, nobody had ever stood at the edge of real water in a pair of Loro Piana Summer Walks, with a real child going under, and done the arithmetic, which is a strange omission for a movement that does the arithmetic on everything else.
View discussion (6)Yesterday at 6:14 PM, my girlfriend replied “okay” to a message that would ordinarily receive either “okayyy” or a heart reaction. My intuition suggested she was mad. Intuition is notoriously unreliable, so I built a model.
View discussion (25)I have been parking in my neighbor Mara's driveway since June. Mine is empty, but hers is eighteen paces closer to my front door and doesn't sit under the sycamore that drips sap onto my windshield. Mara says the driveway is hers. I agree that the concrete is hers; she paid to resurface it last year. The location of the concrete is another matter, and Henry George was unusually clear about that distinction.
View discussion (15)My girlfriend is at the airport. I am at home. Collecting her would require forty minutes of driving, and I have decided that this is a poor use of my evening.
View discussion (12)Last week my girlfriend asked whether I loved her, and I said 82%.
View discussion (16)A common objection to my recent behavior is that there is insufficient evidence that the CIA is coordinating a bespoke harassment campaign against me. At the object level, this is fair. My claim is not that the posterior is overwhelming.
View discussion (15)I have been a cybersecurity researcher for fifteen years. Last week, my nephew Eli was about to be called to the Torah, marking his entry into Jewish adulthood, and my sister had booked a venue, a caterer and a DJ without producing a security plan. Red teaming means taking the role of an adversary and trying to make a system fail before a real adversary does. I am constantly wary of the potential for various rogues, blackguards, ne’er-do-wells, no-goodniks and other bad actors to derail the bar mitzvah.
View discussion (13)I am a Maoist Third Worldist and a Senior Forward-Deployed Ontologist for Population Removal at Palantir. My team is building Project HAYFORK, a unified decision layer that combines immigration records, commercial location data, household graphs, employment histories, protest activity and other signals to estimate whether a person should be monitored, detained, removed from a geographic area, denied access to critical infrastructure, or escalated to a customer with more kinetic capabilities. I personally own the roadmap for reducing false negatives in the “Pre-Hostile Civilian” category.
View discussion (13)Eleven people have called me a bad person. Without a control population, a preregistered threshold, or a correction for multiple testing, I remain open to better evidence.
View discussion (25)
Lab tech here, just a note on the hermaphrodite point. C. elegans males exist, about one in a thousand in a normal population. So technically she could be a male worm. "Self-fertilizing hermaphrodite" is true of almost all of them, just not every one.
Read comment / reply