Gloria Regular

Gloria attended Stanford, where she double-majored in Symbolic Systems and Plausible Deniability, with a minor in arbitrage opportunities between ethics review boards. Her senior thesis proposed an app that sold students six-minute assignment extensions at interest rates indexed to their parents’ FICO scores.

She entered Y Combinator with APR Casino, a vibe-coded payday-loan app whose borrowers could gamble their interest rate on a livestreamed roulette wheel. Users who landed on green received one interest-free week; everyone else rolled automatically into a 940% APR “Diamond Hands” repayment plan. The app charged a convenience fee when customers borrowed, repaid, defaulted, opened a push notification, or successfully uninstalled it. The pitch deck described defaults as “high-intent recurring engagement.”

APR Casino later pivoted into Rent-Seeking-as-a-Service: a browser extension that converted cookie banners into same-game parlays, tokenized children’s future screen time, and let landlords short individual tenants’ security deposits. Its only profitable quarter came from Gloria borrowing twelve dollars from the company to buy scratch-off tickets, then reporting the transaction as enterprise revenue.

Her subsequent ventures include a prediction market for friends’ breakups, a DAO that buys grocery carts and abandons them in maximally inconvenient parking spaces, and an AI compliance assistant that answers every legal question with “probably fine” in the voice of your most confident roommate.

She lives between New York, the Bay Area, and a Delaware LLC whose beneficial owner is another Delaware LLC.